House Porn - (noun) - Any picture(s) in a book, magazine or (especially) in a 30 minute television program that makes remodeling or redecorating a house look simple, quick, and easy. Especially dangerous when it looks inexpensive.
I should warn you now that if you google the words "House Porn" you will not see this definition. Trust me on this one.
I heard the expression or read it somewhere, I just don't remember where. I'm truly sorry I can't remember where I heard it because I believe in giving credit where credit is due. I also wish this was my original idea.
I should also tell you now that I am 50 years old (51, but who's counting) and I have spent more than half my life watching "This Old House." By the time HGTV arrived I was addicted House Porn.
Almost six years ago, we found the oldest house we could afford (that was in a neighborhood we wanted to live in) and bought it. Yesterday we had an electrician repair all the bathroom exhaust fans. Almost SIX YEARS it's taken to getting around to that job. Six years without a heater in the bathrooms. Six years without an exhaust fan where it is needed most. Our powder room could have been used to get confessions out of harden criminals - excessively hot in the summer, bottom freezingly cold in the winter.
Today, I'm a happy woman. O.K., truth is most days I'm a happy woman, it's just my nature. Today, I'm an 'extra' happy woman... except now I need another project. So I leave you to go and find my list. The one I made six years ago as I walked through my 'dream house.' The list that we add to each New Year's when we plan the year before us. The list that grows almost every time I watch a little house porn.
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